A drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night. He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big gong and a mallet.

"What's with the gong?" one of the guests asked.

"It's not a gong. It's a talking clock", the drunk replied.

"A talking clock? How does it work?" asked the friend.

"Watch", the drunk replied. He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound, and stepped back.

The three stood looking at one another for a moment.

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, "You asshole! It's three-fifteen in the morning!"